Valuable.

While in Tanzania, I’ve been reading. While reading, I ran across this quote: “We are primarily looking for experiences that give us a sense of value.”

Having just graduated from college, I find myself, more than ever, trying to figure out where to place my value. Is my value found in my newly acquired college degree? Is it in whatever job I find when I get back? Is it in my friendships?

I continue to think that once I reach a certain point, I will find this sense of value that I’ve been looking for. Did it come when I graduated high school? No. Did it come when I traveled internationally? No. These experiences may have given me some temporary sense of value, but it didn’t last. So why do I continue looking for my value in my actions and accomplishments?

It’s really pretty exhausting. I continue to set goals, hoping that once I reach the next one, I will find that missing value, but it never works. Like a hamster on a wheel, I keep working but do not move.

But, every time I find myself in a place of despair, I’m always reminded of 1 John 3:20 “Whenever our heart condemn us, God is greater than our hearts.”  When my heart continues to say I’m not enough, I have a God who is willing to hold the light for me. He loves me when I feel unlovable. He loves me whether I accomplish my goals or not. He loves me when I don’t know how to love myself.